After my father-in-law died in February, my wife boxed many of his books and shipped them here to Houston. There’s much to treasure – a twenty-three-volume American edition of Kipling from 1899 (pre-Kim, pre-Nobel Prize), two volumes of O. Henry’s stories and the six of Churchill’s Second World War, among other things. We opened a taped-shut box over the weekend, not sure what was in it, and found a commemorative silver platter, file folders of newspaper clippings and other papers, two slide rules (one in an elegant leather case), and a buff-colored, eighteen-page, self-published pamphlet titled “Thoughts for People of Action,” copyright 1973. Cover price: $1.
The author and
publisher is Charles A. Bloedorn. According to his 1994 obituary in the Washington Post, Bloedorn worked for the
Navy as a civilian scientist during and after World War II, and took part in
Operation Crossroads. He and his wife founded a pet-food company, BEEDO. The
title page of the pamphlet says it was published by Bloedorn Enterprises of
Glen Echo, Md. Why my father-in-law kept it will remain a mystery. He was not
the kind of guy to read self-help or inspirational tracts.
Bloedorn had
a gift for clear, concise prose. There’s little muddle and no pyrotechnics or
straining after poeticisms. He’s never folksy or preachy. He suggests rather than issuing diktats. His
sentences are short, the very model of subject-verb-object construction, and
they occasionally attain the compressed brevity of an aphorism: “A person responds
more enthusiastically when his strengths are pointed out rather than his
weaknesses,” followed by “If we feel we just must point out a person’s
weaknesses for his own good, a safe ratio is three strengths to one weakness.” Spoken like a scientist.
There’s no
mention of religion or a deity. If Bloedorn has a gospel, it’s self-esteem: “Man
is endowed with both a good side and a bad side. Raising his self-esteem brings
out his good side.” In my experience, most people are already swollen with a surplus
of self-esteem, and could profit from a good deflation. Bloedorn reminds me of a
more secular, scientific Napoleon Hill (Think
and Grow Rich) or Norman Vincent Peale (The
Power of Positive Thinking: A Practical Guide to Mastering the Problems of
Everyday Living). These are very American thinkers, lineal descendants of
Emerson. The only authorities Bloedorn quotes are his mother and Peale. He
advises:
“Use these
words: Approve, best, better, big, bold, brave, brilliant and you will
contribute to a better world and more success for yourself.” Followed by: “More
good words to use: Calm, charming, chivalrous, clever, climber, common sense.”
H.L. Mencken no
doubt would dismiss Bloedorn’s thinking as “moronic Kiwanian optimism,” but
that would be a little unfair. Everyone could use a morale officer, whether Dale Carnegie or E.M.
Cioran. Bloedorn seems like a guy who has experienced some success in life, and
rather than tooting his own horn he chooses to account for it, ex post facto,
and share his secrets. He sounds more like a companionable fellow drinker at
the bar than a pontificating blowhard. And here is his briefest, most gnomic bit
of advice: “Eat your salad first.”
4 comments:
A long-treasured possession of mine, now flown, was a Manual for Steam Plant Operators, in catechism form: short questions in boldface followed by concise answers in regular type. The prose was like what you've described. I had in one sense no practical need of the book, having never operated a steam plant; but that wasn't the point. When life or my reading matter faced me with more than the Required Daily Amount of vexations, it was tonic to open my Manual for its good sense, its air of brisk helpfulness, and not least for the clear simplicity of its prose.
In its pebble-grained fake-leather cover, it was a hand-sized -- true manual -- volume, like a carry-along Bible, though not so thick. Mine was the second edition, published around 1955 as I remember. I can imagine at one time there may have been a hundred thousand copies in print -- well, fifty -- seeded in almost every mechanized part of the American English speaking world. If one such copy still extant should happen to come my way, I'll guard it well, and better than before. Vexations haven't let up.
"Eat your salad first." That reminds me of Samuel Butler's "Eat grapes down." Virtually opposite meanings, though -- unless salads are a treat.
I lean more toward HLM on this one. One of these days I'm going to open an ego massage parlor and make a zillion bucks.
"Eat your salad first" sounds like the advice I gave my stepson whenever we had a big task like cleaning the garage: Always do the hardest part of the job first, when you're topped up with energy and motivation."
William Gass remarked in an essay that if you say "Life is a banquet" some will hear "Eat hearty" while others will hear "Mind your manners."
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