My middle son, a first lieutenant in the Marine Corps, is visiting for a few days. The conversation turned to nostalgia. He’s young and contemptuous, as I used to be. He used the verb I would have used: “wallow.” The young believe in the future. Nostalgia represents a used-up yesterday, a distraction from today’s important business.
The word arrived in
English in the eighteenth century, though our modern sense evolved late in the
nineteenth. The OED defines that usage as “sentimental longing for or
regretful memory of a period of the past, esp. one in an individual’s own
lifetime; (also) sentimental imagining or evocation of a period of the past.”
In other words, an unearned longing for something that likely never existed, a
comforting pipedream.
But memories are precious
as we get older. I don’t cherish some mythical Golden Age in my life or the
world’s. Memories can be a goad to gratitude – the teachers who encouraged us,
friends and lovers, family now gone. In the closet are boxes of old letters,
photographs, clippings of newspaper stories I wrote almost half a century ago,
a copy of the underground paper that published my review of Gravity’s
Rainbow in 1973. I keep these things, in part, to remind me how fortunate I
have been. And how foolish.
Timothy Steele concludes his poem “Old Letters” (Sapphics and Uncertainties: Poems 1970-1986) after warning us “to adjust / Our self-important postures,” like this:
“Likewise, to return the
letters finally
Back to wherever they belong
Is to admit how much of
life's gone wrong
Because of vanity and
discontent,
And is as well to envy
Those who refuse to hunger
for event
And who accept the wisely
unbegun,
Just wishing decently to
get through life
And trying not to injure
anyone.”