The cavalier, half-bored manner in which some parents treat their children can be astonishing. Not overt abuse, beatings or neglect, precisely. More like distraction or indifference, the way we might not notice another passenger on the bus. I knew a boy, a fellow fifth-grader, whose parents forgot him when they left to spend the weekend in Detroit – almost thirty years before Home Alone. He was an only child, an awkward kid, not popular, but this time some of us envied him. He became a modest legend among us. To their credit, his parents returned home a little earlier than planned. Here is the poet Robert Mezey on E.A. Robinson (1869-1935):
“Edwin
Arlington seems a stately enough name, but Robinson hated it. That no doubt had
something to do with the way he got it. Having already had two sons, his
parents, especially his mother, had their hearts set on a girl; a third son was
such a disappointment that they neglected to name him for many months.”
Finally, in
the summer of 1870, Robinson’s family was vacationing at the coastal resort of Harpswell, Maine. Other guests urged that the child be given a name. Suggestions
were scrawled on scraps of paper and “Edwin” was pulled from a hat. The woman
who had suggested it was a native of Arlington, Mass. Thus: “Edwin Arlington.” Mezey
writes, parenthetically:
“(I have
sometimes wondered if that nonchalant and offhand christening was not the
source of Robinson’s penchant for assigning so many of his characters arbitrary,
peculiar, often outlandish name—Tasker Norcross, for example, or Bewick Finzer,
Roman Bartholow, Umfraville, Miniver Cheevy, Sainte-Nitouche, to list but a
few.)”
Scott
Donaldson confirms the story in his biography Edwin Arlington Robinson: A Poet's Life (2007), and describes the infant’s
name as “rather highfalutin.” Adam Tavel includes the story in his sonnet “Elegy
for E.A. Robinson,” published in the Spring 2021 issue of Appalachian Review:
“Six months
and still your parents couldn’t name
the boy they
wished a girl. They let a crowd
of tipsy
cooers at their resort pluck
Edwin from a
hat. Of course you earned your Bs
at Harvard,
left with no degree, and failed
to woo your
brother’s fiancĂ©e--most lives
can spot themselves in butcher apron stains.
Half of what
you penned sad Robinson
just plods,
and half of that runs too long. And yet
on nights
when gloom, no maudlin thing, knifes through
these rooms
like news a fevered child has died
I rouse your
spine to ask what might be done.
Down rows of
tombs in Tilbury Town you hum
at empty
plots, a spade in either palm.”
Robinson’s best
poems, like good stories and novels, become tools for living in the hands of
receptive readers, which is why Tavel says he “rouse[s] your spine.” We can read Hardy that way, and Frost and Housman. When it comes to “outlandish” names, consider Robinson’s
sonnet “Reuben Bright”:
“Because he
was a butcher and thereby
Did earn an
honest living (and did right),
I would not
have you think that Reuben Bright
Was any more
a brute than you or I;
For when
they told him that his wife must die,
He stared at
them, and shook with grief and fright,
And cried
like a great baby half that night,
And made the
women cry to see him cry.
“And after
she was dead, and he had paid
The singers
and the sexton and the rest,
He packed a
lot of things that she had made
Most
mournfully away in an old chest
Of hers, and
put some chopped-up cedar boughs
In with
them, and tore down the slaughter-house.”
This might
account for Tavel’s “most lives / can spot themselves in butcher apron stains.”
You’ll find little condemnation of behavior or cheap moralizing in Robinson’s poems. Often what he feels
strongest about is precisely what he never mentions or only glancingly. You can
call this “New England repression” if you wish. I prefer to think Robinson’s
understanding of human behavior was so nuanced, so appreciative of
contradiction, that disapproval would be presumptuous and irrelevant. In a
remarkable letter Robinson wrote in 1900 to a friend who was conducting an
affair with his brother’s wife (a situation Robinson knew first-hand, except
for the sexual part), the poet writes:
“What I am
most afraid of in your case is that you are in danger of forgetting that even
the most hellish of human complexities are not to be considered too bitterly in
the beginning. We cannot measure anything until we have seen it through.”
[Robert
Mezey’s essay is the introduction to his edition of The Poetry of E.A. Robinson (Modern Library, 1999).]
I am reading this and trying to get my head around the poor judgment of your friend's parents. Not just that they left him alone, but that they went to Detroit for a weekend.
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