“Whenever in my dreams I see the dead, they always appear silent, bothered, strangely depressed, quite unlike their dear, bright selves. I am aware of them, without any astonishment, in surroundings they never visited during their earthly existence, in the house of some friend of mine they never knew.”
I seldom
meet the dead in dreams, or the living. My nocturnal mind reanimates places I
knew sixty years ago and last week but not their inhabitants. My dreams are
largely unpeopled. I have no idea what this means nor what dreams in general
mean. I accept them as free-of-charge entertainment, cartoons. Some are amusing, most are
banal -- and forgotten. Now that Freud has been discredited, we can give up the search for
symbols and Greek myths. I meet my dead only in memory. Vladimir Nabokov
continues in the closing lines of Chapter 2 in Speak, Memory (1967):
“They sit
apart, frowning at the floor, as if death were a dark taint, a shameful family
secret. It is certainly not then -- not in dreams -- but when one is wide
awake, at moments of robust joy and achievement, on the highest terrace of
consciousness, that mortality has a chance to peer beyond its own limits, from
the mast, from the past and its castle tower. And although nothing much can be
seen through the mist, there is somehow the blissful feeling that one is
looking in the right direction.”
My dead
visit unexpectedly, in the middle of some mundane act, while reading or
preparing dinner. I learned of Nabokov’s death on a warm summer night in
Youngstown, Ohio, forty-seven years ago. I was a passenger in a car and heard the news report on the
radio. The following day I began rereading Ada
(1969). I had been reading his books for almost a decade, the new ones as they appeared
and the older ones in translation. He is one of two or three writers at work
during my lifetime whom I have read in
toto and whose works, major and minor, I periodically reread. Few writers
from any age, in any genre, have given me as much pleasure as Nabokov. He called it “aesthetic
bliss.” In Pnin (1957), the deceptive
narrator tells us:
“I do not
know if it has ever been noted before that one of the main characteristics of
life is discreteness. Unless a film of flesh envelopes us, we die. Man exists
only insofar as he is separated from his surroundings. The cranium is a
space-traveler’s helmet. Stay inside or you perish. Death is divestment, death
is communion. It may be wonderful to mix with the landscape, but to do so is
the end of the tender ego.”
In his final, rather disappointing novel, Look at the Harlequins!
(1974), Nabokov’s hero writes “Death is silly, death is degrading” -- a
rhythmic and thematic echo of “Death is divestment, death is communion.” And in
Pale Fire, his greatest novel, he
suggests that death may be less a conclusion than a transition.
Asked “What
does death mean to you?” by an interviewer in 1974, Nabokov replied: “Nothing.”
Nabokov died on July 2, 1977 at age seventy-eight.
A year ago, I was diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apnea and fitted with a mask that allows air to be pumped into my nose and mouth while sleeping. I've noticed that ever since my dreams are more vivid. A couple of nights ago I dreamed that I walked into a room with a conference table and maybe a dozen people sitting around it. Right in the middle of the table I noticed, you guessed 'er, Chester, that one of them was the deceased writer Eric Hoffer.
ReplyDeleteOnly one famous person has ever entered my dreams. Several years ago I was watching a San Antonio Spurs basketball game, and whenever the Spurs play at home you get views of the San Antonio Riverwalk, which is, according to the city, "a verdant oasis of cypress-lined paved paths, arched stone bridges and lush landscapes" that "gently winds through the city center." Very nice. When the game was over, I retired to bed, where I was soon dreaming that I was strolling down the Rickleswalk, where visitors are accosted and heckled by a roaming army of Don Rickles impersonators. I awoke with a big smile on my face; I still think it's the coolest dream I've ever had, and a great idea for a bold entrepreneur.
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