Today,
2.7 million Americans get heart catheterizations each year. I'll join them on Friday, when a
radiologist inserts a catheter into my femoral artery and snakes the tube, guided
by fluoroscopy and real-time radiology, to my heart. I’m told I’ll be sedated
but conscious, which is good news because I’m curious to know how such a thing
feels, and I hope I’m able to see the monitor. I’m symptom-free. The catheterization
is diagnostic. My cardiologist wants to know the cause of an irregularity in my
heart rhythm, but I feel silly going to all this trouble. I have a horror of hypochondria,
not disease, and I’m blessed with mindlessly undeserved good health. The only thing
I can take credit for is having never smoked tobacco, but even that's nothing to brag about because I was never tempted. I should be a
wreck, considering the way I used to conduct my life. When conversation turns to ailments and cures, I excuse myself from the
room. I’m with Dr. Johnson, in The Rambler #48, on the subject of medical obsessions:
“Among
the innumerable follies, by which we lay up in our youth repentance and remorse
for the succeeding part of our lives, there is scarce any against which
warnings are of less efficacy, than the neglect of health. When the springs of
motion are yet elastick, when the heart bounds with vigour, and the eye
sparkles with spirit, it is with difficulty that we are taught to conceive the
imbecility that every hour is bringing upon us, or to imagine that the nerves
which are now braced with so much strength, and the limbs which play with so
much activity, will lose all their power under the gripe of time, relax with
numbness, and totter with debility.”
My
heart still “bounds with vigour” and I’m not yet tottering. In “The Vanity of Human Wishes,” in the passage devoted to the “young Enthusiast,” Johnson writes:
“Should
Beauty blunt on Fops her fatal Dart,
Nor
claim the triumph of a letter'd Heart;
Should
no Disease thy torpid Veins invade,
Nor
Melancholy's Phantoms haunt thy Shade;
Yet
hope not Life from Grief or Danger free,
Nor
think the Doom of Man revers'd for thee:
Deign
on the passing World to turn thine Eyes,
And
pause awhile from Learning to be wise.”
3 comments:
And I should be sorry to give a wrong idea of my health which, if it was not exactly rude, to the extent of my bursting with it, was at bottom of an incredible robustness. For otherwise how could I have reached the enormous age I have reached. Thanks to moral qualities? Hygienic habits? Fresh air? Starvation? Lack of sleep? Solitude? Persecution? The long silent screams (dangerous to scream)? The daily longing for the earth to swallow me up? Come come. Fate is rancorous, but not to that extent.
(Molloy)
I want to say it's too early for you to consider the encroaching imbecility, but I don't want to deposit a mere pleasantry for you. Instead I'll say simply that I expect you have have more to say about this experience as soon as you've recovered, preferably speedily, from the procedure. I will think of you on Friday.
Best of luck, Patrick.
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