The least we ask of a friend is that he not become meddlesome. Granted, it’s a fine line. Where does caring end and meddling begin? At roughly the point presumption replaces true concern. The prerequisite for friendship is respect. There’s nothing respectful about presuming to know what’s best for another person and feeling hurt when your precious counseling is dismissed or ignored. In “Dear Friends" (The Children of the Night, 1897), Edwin Arlington Robinson answers those who would tell him to give up his vocation, his reason for being:
“Dear friends, reproach me
not for what I do,
Nor counsel me, nor pity
me; nor say
That I am wearing half my
life away
For bubble-work that only
fools pursue.
And if my bubbles be too
small for you,
Blow bigger then your own:
the games we play
To fill the frittered
minutes of a day,
Good glasses are to read
the spirit through.
“And whoso reads may get
him some shrewd skill;
And some unprofitable
scorn resign,
To praise the very thing
that he deplores;
So, friends (dear
friends), remember, if you will,
The shame I win for
singing is all mine,
The gold I miss for dreaming is all yours.”
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