'Into a Drawing-Room Without My Shoes'

People seem no longer embarrassed to express ridiculous ideas. Absurd notions that once would have been dismissed with laughter or righteous denunciations are happily embraced, defended and, in some cases, turned into law. Consider how Dr. Johnson handled a comparable situation. On September 30, 1769, he and Boswell were dining, as usual, at the Mitre Tavern in Fleet Street. Also as usual, Boswell was baiting Johnson to spur what Coleridge called his “bow wow manner.” Boswell suggested as conversational fodder “the superior happiness of the savage life.”

JOHNSON: “‘Sir, there can be nothing more false. The savages have no bodily advantages beyond those of civilised men. They have not better health; and as to care or mental uneasiness, they are not above it, but below it, like bears. No, Sir; you are not to talk such paradox: let me have no more on’t. It cannot entertain, far less can it instruct. Lord Monboddo, one of your Scotch Judges, talked a great deal of such nonsense. I suffered HIM; but I will not suffer YOU.’”

 

Lord Monboddo was James Burnett (1714-1799), the Scottish judge, linguist and all-around bien-pensant twit.

 

BOSWELL: “‘But, Sir, does not Rousseau talk such nonsense?’”

 

JOHNSON:  ‘True, Sir, but Rousseau KNOWS he is talking nonsense, and laughs at the world for staring at him.’

BOSWELL. ‘How so, Sir?’

 

JOHNSON: “‘Why, Sir, a man who talks nonsense so well, must know that he is talking nonsense. But I am AFRAID, (chuckling and laughing,) Monboddo does NOT know that he is talking nonsense.’

 

BOSWELL: ‘Is it wrong then, Sir, to affect singularity, in order to make people stare?’

 

JOHNSON: ‘Yes, if you do it by propagating errour: and, indeed, it is wrong in any way. There is in human nature a general inclination to make people stare; and every wise man has himself to cure of it, and does cure himself. If you wish to make people stare by doing better than others, why, make them stare till they stare their eyes out. But consider how easy it is to make people stare by being absurd. I may do it by going into a drawing-room without my shoes.’”

 

Today, two species of nonsense-mongers identified by Johnson co-exist. We have those who say fashionably ridiculous things to get attention and the approval of their fellows. Next to them are the more dangerous sort, the true believers, who sincerely espouse foolish ideas. In practice, the latter often compel the former to perform tricks for their entertainment.

 

In Johnson’s Dictionary, among his definitions of “fool,” are two that correspond to both types, respectively. First, “one whom nature has denied reason; a natural; an idiot.” And then, “a wicked man.”