On June 17, 1981, I spent the day in Columbus, Ohio, the state capital, following State Senator Paul Pfeifer (R-Bucyrus) around the State House. My newspaper, the now-defunct Bellevue Gazette, sent me there to profile the senator whose district included most of our circulation area. I still know little about politics and government, and it shows in the story I wrote and that my paper published the following day, Thursday, June 18. I remember working late in the newsroom after driving back from Columbus to Bellevue – about 100 miles due north -- so the story could run the following day on the front page with this headline:
“A day
with Senator Pfeifer
Meetings,
lobbying, red tape”
A reader has
scanned the story and sent me a copy. I always steel myself when reading
something I wrote long ago. Infelicities pile up. I had no formal training
in journalism so I relied on common sense and what little experience I had
already accumulated as a reporter. The story is clear and orderly and doesn’t go
on too long. It’s also a little dull and shows my ignorance
of what I was witnessing. Pfeifer was chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee,
which was hearing testimony on a bill authorizing the Ohio Building Authority
to issue revenue bonds for the construction of new prisons. Most of the lobbying
and deal-making was lost on me. I captured some of the atmosphere:
“Pfeifer,
his legislative aide and a senate clerk eat lunch on the lawn in front of the
State House. Hundreds of state employees eat bag lunches and lie in the sun for
an hour on the grass along Broad St. [AP style: “Street” should be spelled out
when no address is included. The Gazette
subscribed to UPI.] A bluegrass band picks out ‘Rocky Top’ from a stage erected
on the lawn.”
Little
failures along the way, mostly weak word choices, sting. I see an inexplicable
grammar error: “Back in his office, Pfeifer slumps in his chair, looking a
little wilted. The sharp creases in his white shirt has [!] softened. The senator stares out his window at the tall neon
sign proclaiming the Columbus Dispatch.”
The next paragraphs conclude the story:
“Calls pour
in: the Associated Press, Cleveland Mayor Voinovich’s office, a friend from
Bucyrus.
“‘It’s just
the beginning,’ he mutters. ‘We’ll be here til [sic] 11.’”
It could have
been even worse. Today I would never use “mutters.” Keep it simple: “says.” And
I would use the past tense throughout. Walter de la Mare, of all people, would have
understood. In the Spring 1953 of The
Virginia Quarterly Review he published “Second Thoughts””:
“Gone the
promise, pains, and care—
All I’d
seemed to squander here!
Now I read
what then I writ
Even sense
has forsaken it.
“Whither
must my heart have flown,
Leaving head
to drudge alone?
Whither can
my wits have strayed
To let such
lifeless things be said?
“Oh, what
mischief pen can make,
Scribbling
on for scribbling's sake!
How such
vanity condone—
Peacock
shimmering in the sun!—
The Muse (if
ever present) gone.”
De la Mare
was born 150 years ago on this date, April 25, in 1873. It’s my brother’s
birthday: Happy sixty-eighth, Ken.
1 comment:
This piece describes so well the feelings a former journalist has. I, too, did similar work for daily newspapers in Abilene, Texas, and in Albuquerque, New Mexico, in the mid-'70s. Had similar feelings looking back at old clippings. De la Mare's poem captures much.
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