Friday, August 30, 2024

'How Quickly It Would Slip By'

“[S]ome of the memories I can now summon up have a greater intensity than the events themselves seemed to possess at the time, or rather – since memory has a filter of its own, sometimes surprising in what it suppresses or retains, but always significant – some of them stand out in disproportionate clarity to the rest.” 

Earlier in the same paragraph, Iris Origo (1902-88) had been considering Proust and his novel in her Images and Shadows: Part of a Life (1970). The Frenchman, she writes, confirms her conviction that she is “carrying within me (in spite of all the changes that have taken place) the whole of my life.” I’ve always suspected the same, even before I first read Proust more than half a century ago. Since my brother’s death last week, lost memories have announced themselves like bubbles in a simmering kettle of soup. My nephew, clearing out his father’s belongings, found this:

 


It’s the 1965 Grove Press edition of Selected Works of Alfred Jarry, edited by Roger Shattuck, who later published The Banquet Years: The Origins of the Avant-Garde in France, 1885 to World War(1968), which includes a chapter on Jarry. Abe then sent a photo of the front end paper:

 


I think I gave this to Ken early in the nineteen-eighties but I had forgotten all about it. There’s the crossed-out dedication to the previous owner, but I want to know who gives Jarry to his daughter for Christmas? Then Ken’s remembrance of my gift. He was the last person alive who called me “Pat.” Best of all, the sentiment at the top right: “No longer relevant to me.” That’s as honest a critical judgment as I’ve ever heard. Ken, of course, recognized the allusion I would have intended. The Cleveland band Pere Ubu, lead by David Thomas, took its name from Jarry’s play Ubu Roi.

 

Origo admits she would like more time: “But the time I would really beg for, at any street corner, would be time in the past, time in which to comfort, to complete and to repair—time wasted before I knew how quickly it would slip by.”

1 comment:

mike zim said...

Patrick, my condolences.

Ken "was the last person alive who called me "Pat."

January 20, 1827, Lamb visits his dying friend: Whether he knew me or not, I know not, or whether he saw me through his poor glazed eyes; but the group I saw about him I shall not forget. Upon the bed, or about it, were assembled his wife and two daughters, and poor deaf Richard, his son, looking doubly stupified.
Lamb couldn’t speak. All he could do is take Mrs. Norris’ hand. If you have visited a person who is dying, at home or in the hospital, circled by family, you know words can seem indecent. One feels tearful, fearful, awkward, helpless and privileged. A life – a world -- is ending and you are a witness. To the last he called me Charley. I have none to call me Charley now.”