The stuff starts as white powder at the bottom of a one-gallon plastic jug. Add lukewarm water to the line, shake vigorously. Add a thoughtfully included “flavor packet” – lemon-lime, my favorite – to make it “palatable.” Chill. Drink eight ounces every fifteen minutes until the jug is empty. The label calls it “Gavilyte-G Solution 4000ML.” Catchy. Included on the list of possible side effects:
“Very bad headache. Throwing up blood or throw up that looks like coffee grounds. Black, tarry [!], or bloody stools. Bleeding from rectum or rectal pain. This drug may cause you to be dehydrated or have electrolyte problems. Rarely, this may be severe or deadly.”
And I volunteered for this. The label says, “No REFILLS.” Barbara Loots in “Colonoscopy: A Love
Poem” (Windshift, Kelsay Books, 2018) finds something to celebrate in
this most humbling of medical procedures. With apologies to Robert Burns:
“My love is like a red,
red rose.
I know because I’ve seen
the photographs inside of
him
projected on a screen:
“the petal-like appearance
of
his proximal transverse,
his mid-ascending colon
like a rose’s opening
purse,
“appendiceal orifice,
a bud not yet unfurled —
Oh, what a pleasing garden
is
my true love’s inner
world!
“How very like a red, red
rose
his clean and healthy gut.
I love my laddie all the
more
since looking up his butt.”
2 comments:
I'm surprised that the possible side-effects don't include suicidal thoughts, which seem to me almost inevitable, especially if you forget the flavor packet.
My colonoscopist used the 2025 recommendations which require half as much prep solution . With many colonoscopies under my belt, I found this one far less distasteful than rhe the previous ones . Good luck!
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